A few years ago, I might have said that best friends would probably never fall in love. But it has happened to me. I had known a man for about four years, and one day I fell madly in love with him! Something simply triggered my brain system for romantic passion. So I know it is possible to ignite feelings of intense romantic love with "just a friend." But I don't know anything about your particular friendship. And if one of you secretly knows that he or she will NEVER be interested in a romantic relationship with the other, it is highly unlikely to ever happen. Because we are all looking for some specific things in a partnership, and when we believe we will never get those things from a particular friend, we are not likely to change our criteria for loving.

COMMENT:

While  it  can  be  said  that  it  is  indeed  possible  for  one  to  fall  in  love  with  one's  friend,  it  cannot  be  said  however  that  it  is  also  always  possible  to  maintain  the  resultant  romantic  relationship.  As  it  turns  out,  the  emotions  involved  in  a  platonic  relationship  are  not  exactly  identical  to  those  involved  in  a  romantic  one.  And  why  this  is  so,  could  be  owing  to  the  fact  that;  while  in  a  platonic  relationship  both  parties  are  independent  free  agents  who  are  free  to  share  what  is  theirs  with  whoever  they  choose;  in  a  romantic  relationship  that  becomes  taboo.  The  two  in  a  romantic  relationship  become  "one  flesh"  so  to  speak  and  whatever  has  to  be  shared with  outsiders  has  to  be  mutually  acceptable.

Another  thing  is  that  while  in  platonic  relationships  friends  may  openly  discuss  their  romantic  encounters  with  paramours  and  other  "crushes"  without  necessarily  hurting  their  friend's  feelings,  this  cannot  be  said  of  their  lovers.  Nobody  is  ever  emotionally  attached  to  "public  property"  or  a  groupie!  Furthermore,  the  question  also  arises  with  regard  to  these  romantic  feelings.  Will  they  be  necessarily  or  genuinely  mutual,  or  perhaps  only  one  party  has  fallen  victim  to  infatuation?

I  have  a  friend or  two  that  I  love,  but  try  hard  to  keep  it  platonic  for  fear  I  end  up  getting  emotionally  wrapped  up  and  losing  my  autonomy.  You  just  cannot  have  it  both  ways  you  know!

Quote

Obama seeks knockout blow Tuesday - The New York Times- msnbc.com
Skip